Weekend re-cap

Friday was a conversation filled day.  When I arrived in the evening, Ahma asked me a bunch of questions such as 'Why haven't I seen you in a long time? Hmm', 'When is so and so coming again (Vivian, Amy, etc.)?' and other things that she wouldn't ask the Aunties, moist poignantly, 'What is this weird disease that I have?'.  This made me really want to tell her the truth, but I held back because of our fathers' wishes.


Fast forward to Sunday night, the conversation with Frank was really good in helping to understand where the fathers might be coming from.  I still see the good of telling her but now appreciate the good of not telling her the full truth as well, namely not letting her mind wander down the road of sadness and potentially extraneous fear and worry by thinking over our family's sad history with cancer.  


Rewind to Saturday.  As many of you I'm sure have heard, this was a tough day since this is when Ahma's condition became significantly worse - she was no longer able to swallow her pills and only able to keep down meager amounts of liquid, often spitting it back up when we gave her more.  She started being less responsive from tiredness or lack of will.  It seems that her hearing was more impaired and she started opening her eyes but she would just be looking, not really seeing, with a hazy glassy quality to her eyes.


Sunday was similar, but Vivian had ordered liquid versions of some of her meds which came in late on Saturday so it made giving her some of her medicine a little bit easier after that.  The social worker/nurse(?) from Hospice Center came by and told us that she needed to be administered morphine more regularly (in small doses) to help control the pain and she was also hooked up to oxygen to increase her level of comfort.  She seemed to rest with more ease than on Saturday and we think some of her fussiness was due to discomfort and pain that we weren't recognizing and therefore addressing as such.

The best part of this weekend was the second half of the night on Friday.  Ahma had started telling Vivian about what she thought about her personality, that Vivian was very much like herself in that when she was happy, she was very happy but when she was angry she was scarily so and had a bad temper.  She contrasted this by saying that Amy was not like herself, but instead had a 'good' personality, more easygoing.


On Friday, Vivian and I decided to follow up on this conversation and started asking Ahma what she thought of her other grandchildren's personalities.  Vivian and Frank's Mom and I did the questioning and at first we thought she didn't hear our questions but then realized she was taking time to think before answering us.  Forgive my inadequate translation skills, but it went something like this:


Vivian? She thinks too much, so much so that she makes things overly complicated for herself.
Amy? Her personality is not great, she is like me, thinks too much. 
Me (Joanne)? Your personality is pretty good, you are optimistic and cheerful.
George? He's very humble. Slight frown.
Kris? He's introverted/keeps to himself/keeps things inside.
Frank? He's too straightforward of a person. Worried furrowed brow.
Jonathan? He's quiet/doesn't say much.
Zoe? She's optimistic/cheerful.


Even though some are more accurate than others, it was fun discussing this with her and just having a great fun conversation.  It is really amazing how Ahma knows each and every one of us individually and how she tailors her answers to reflect that.  I am so thankful for having an Ahma who loves us all so well.