I'm now in DC. It's been less than 24 hours since I left Ahma, but I have already found myself checking on the blog and calling back to the house a few times.
I didn't get a chance to say bye last night as we had visitors. And I suppose that extra chance to say goodbye would not have made that much of a difference... But I am trying to come to terms with the possibility that I've had my last real conversation with Ahma.
My dad has major concerns about starting her on heavier pain medication, particularly we may lose the ability to talk to her. I understand that concern too, but I do want to honor her wishes to be pain-free (or at least not tortured by the pain).
I am assured that I will see her again in heaven, but not having her nearby for the rest of my life is still difficult to accept. Certainly our family has had to deal with that for Ahgong, Aunt Cindy, Uncle Paul, and mom. But I just don't know how things will shake out.
Surely she is still with us, but I just can't imagine life without her.
I didn't get a chance to say bye last night as we had visitors. And I suppose that extra chance to say goodbye would not have made that much of a difference... But I am trying to come to terms with the possibility that I've had my last real conversation with Ahma.
My dad has major concerns about starting her on heavier pain medication, particularly we may lose the ability to talk to her. I understand that concern too, but I do want to honor her wishes to be pain-free (or at least not tortured by the pain).
I am assured that I will see her again in heaven, but not having her nearby for the rest of my life is still difficult to accept. Certainly our family has had to deal with that for Ahgong, Aunt Cindy, Uncle Paul, and mom. But I just don't know how things will shake out.
Surely she is still with us, but I just can't imagine life without her.
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